New Yawk Tawk

How To Speak Like A Native, Find Your Way 
Around and Avoid Having People Stare At 
You As Soon As You Open Your Mouth

I got this idea from a friend of my son's, who said his family 
wants to invite me over to their house for dinner to show off 
my new yawk accent. Sort of like hiring a magician or fortune 
teller to do parlor tricks. Actually, my accent is minimal, but 
still noticeable, in these here parts. To be fair, i'll include the 
confusing Scranton-ese that has baffled me for all these years.

First thing you have to practice is dropping all of your (yaw) "R's" 
and put an "aw" in it's place. My hubby can tell you better, he's an expert at it.  Horse would be "hawse".  Chocolate is a special word. Both here and New York. Cracks me up both ways. If you look at the pronunciations in the dictionaries, both are wrong, but neither group would admit it. In New York, it's Chawklit, in Pa. it's Chock-lit. And coffee is "cawfee" in NY, cahfee in Pa.The real pronunciation is somewhere in-between.  In new york a sausage is a "sawsidge" here in Norteast Pa., it's a "sossidge". You'll get the hang of it pretty quickly. 

Some things can't be explained, and accents vary with locality. Now i do wash, a friend here in pa. does warsh, and a mango is definitely a tropical fruit, i love them... nowhere, in any book, have i seen a mango be described as a green pepper - a veggie, for sure.  If anyone knows how this got started in Pennsylvania, let me know, it's been my pet peeve for years. Every time I hear a lady use "mango" instead of "green pepper"  in the grocery store, I cringe. It's not a matter of accent, it's a matter of definition, that's different.

Forget the "oi" sounds, in New York, too. In Queens it's terlit, erster and berler, not toilet, oyster or boiler. Drop the g's at the ends of the words and develop a slight, but truly annoying nasal sound and you're on your way.

Chocolate Ecreme - Definitely not "egg cream" but that's how a lot of folks say it.. It's a really cool drink made with 1 cup milk, 1/4 cup seltzer, and 2 tablespoons of chocolate-flavored syrup in a 12 ounce chilled glass. Pop it in the blender or just stir it to make foam on top. Eggless and creamless. This was a big thing when soda fountains were still around, but you can get one of these in lots of place in the city

turd - for some reason, both New Yorkers and Northeast Pa. residents use it to mean "third".

Bagel with a "shmear" - you want cream cheese on that bagel

Knish - the "k" is not silent - a standard Jewish/Eastern European delicacy and a Coney Island tradition. Made with a potato dough, stuffed with mashed potatoes, salt, and pepper, onion. Deep-fried til golden brown and crisp on the outside. Traditionally eaten with mustard spread on top of it.

Lawnguyland - Long Island

Maw - More

Pizza - The traditional, Italian-style, round or rectangular and flattened dough topped with tomato sauce, basil, oregano, olive oil and mozzarella cheese. If it's round, it's a pie. If it's rectangular, it's Sicilian. end of story. All kinds of toppings, but anything other than mozzarella cheese is a crime and a sin. I grew up with friends who always said "beetsa", not pizza.

gravy - some neighborhoods call red sauce gravy

Fuhgeddabodit - Forget about it,  that's ridiculous. 

wad-evuh - whatever

get outta he-ah -  i don't believe you, you're kidding

New York Cheesecake - immortalized by Lindy's restaurant. Graham cracker crust and tons of cream cheese, sugar and eggs. Not the "designer" cheesecakes you might be used to

The automat - The famous Horn and Hardart really cool place, these are all closed now, i believe. combination of a fast-food, vending, and cafeteria-style restaurant. You went in, got a tray, peeked into the big glass cases or sandwiches, soups, big or small meals and drinks, and popped your coins in once you made up your mind. Out comes your food. 

yeah, right - means just about the same as fuhgeddabotit

babushka - same in both worlds - the kerchief your grandma wore around her head, which has become a neo-hippie accessory lately

Ink Pen - You and I both know all pens are ink pens. No argument there.

Up The - For some reason, no one is going somewhere, they're going "up the". For example, I go to Sam's Club, my friends go "up the sam's". We both end up in the same place, though. 

melk - Milk

hamburg - hamburger

Haych- Bee-O - HBO, of course. Or some will say they're gonna see what's on the home box.

Parlor - Living Room

Suit - suite of furniture as in "bedroom suit"

Sammich, Sangwidge, Samwich - A sandwich

spicket - spigot

laundrymat - laundromat

crick - creek. I get a crick in my neck, others have a crick in their yards

piggies or piggies in a blanket - everywhere else these are hot dogs rolled up in bread dough, but in most areas of pa. they are stuffed cabbage.

wimpies - sloppy joes

Couple, two, tree - two or more of something

run the sweeper - use the vacuum cleaner

tray - whole pizza

pizza - anything made out of dough and either topped or stuffed with just about any ole thang. Including american and cheddar cheeses and other blends with the mozzarella. 

Up da line - north of wherever you're at

acrossed - across